I mean, I do love a good starch

[Opening Easter eggs with a kindergartener. We are taking turns guessing what’s inside the eggs.] 

Me: I think this one has…candy!

Kid: I think it’s a…potato!

Me: …You think it’s a…potato?

Kid: I hope it’s right!!

Sea World and Disney and putt-putt, gol-fiiiiiing

Kid: When I grow up, I’m going to be a missionary and I’m going to go to Florida.

I already know what it sounds like, don’t tell me

Kid (talking at the speed of light): Oh shoot. I just said, ‘oh shoot,’ not the other one. The other one is worse, it’s like, ‘oh shhh-‘

Me: You don’t have to say it.

Kid: I just said the first sound, like ‘shhh-‘

So I’m just gonna mark no on the form, then…

[Conducting a speech and language evaluation for a toddler, barely 2 years old. Asking her parents yes/no questions for an evaluation questionnaire.] 

Me: Does she follow directions with different kinds of functional action words, like jump, throw, or run?

Parents: She knows drop it–

[Me: thinking that means to drop an object that she is holding in her hand] 

Parents: –like Drop it Like it’s Hot. Sweetie, drop it! Drop it! Drop it, honey!

[Toddler bends over]