[Coloring with a 5-year-old boy. He has a 3-year-old brother. I need a black crayon and can only find one that is 1 inch long. I start coloring with it.]
Boy: Auntie, how small is that crayon?
Me: [shows him]
Boy: Whoa! It’s even smaller than my brother!
6 y/o girl: How old are you?
6 y/o girl: Really? That’s old.
Kid: I’m four!
Another Kid: I’m four, too!
And Another Kid: I’m four, too!
Me: (joking) And I’m four, too!
Kid: Nooo, you’re seventy-seven!
[In my K-1 Sunday school class on Christmas morning]
Me: So did anyone do anything Christmasy this morning?
Me: What did you do?
Girl: Well, I ate goldfish.
[Wearing shorts and sitting cross-legged on the floor with my class of 3rd graders. One kid tries to get my attention by tapping on my knee.]
Kid: You’re soft!
(While working on a craft and having a normal conversation about kid-friendly topics)
Kindergartener: (taps me on the shoulder and whispers excitedly) I know what girls have…BRAS!
Me: …Get back to your craft.
(Sunday school lesson about Jesus’ betrayal. Throughout the following exchange, Kid 2 is sitting criss-cross applesauce, with his head down to the ground.)
Kid 1: Is Judas a girl?
Teacher: No, Judas is a boy.
Kid 1: Then why is he kissing Jesus?
(Kid 2 puts his head up)
Kid 2: (whispers) I kiss everything… (puts his head back down)